Did I Lose My Faith Because This Still Hurts?

June 22 is my Aunt Marie's heavenly birthday.

As I think about her today, I find myself remembering a hurt I didn't expect.

I learned online that she had passed away.

Not from a phone call.

Online.

That hurt.

Months later, I learned online that my cousin's funeral had already happened.

That hurt too.

For a long time, I thought faith meant I wasn't supposed to feel those things so deeply. I thought maturity meant composure. I thought strength meant moving forward without trembling.

But grief has taught me something different.

Sometimes faith looks like honesty.

It looks like saying:

"This aches."

"I miss them."

"I don't understand."

"I am hurt."

Scripture reminds us, "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." (Psalm 34:18)

Notice, He does not distance Himself from the brokenhearted.

He draws near.

In my own experience, healing didn't begin when I stopped feeling. Healing began when I stopped pretending I didn't feel.

I release my disappointment, hurt, sadness, questions, and pain to God.

And if grief has taught me anything, it is this:

Feeling pain does not mean I lost my faith.

Expressing pain does not mean I lost my faith.

Telling the truth about my pain became part of my healing journey.

Jesus remains at the center.

And because of that, I can grieve honestly, trust God completely, and continue moving toward the life He has called me to live.

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“The Quiet Cry Project” is a creative work under SRJSTAR Music, LLC.

This is for the person who is grieving quietly, carrying trauma, or healing from losses that were never fully spoken. I remember the moment when my own world collapsed; losing loved ones back-to-back, losing the home I shared memories in with my father, losing stability, and losing pieces of myself I didn’t know how to recover. What I didn’t know then was that writing, music, faith, and therapy would become the pathway God used to rebuild me from the inside out. That’s why I created The Quiet Cry Project; a safe place for weary hearts to breathe, feel, and be restored. Your next step is simply to enter this space and receive the comfort God has for you. - Sheila